 Click here to go directly to Blog (note each month's blog has a new introduction). Recent topics: 1/8/07
Hi, I’m Chris, Editor-in-Chief (or Mischief) at Humdinger. I remember taking psychology in college (am I the only one who stresses out every time I have to spell the word psychology?!) and learning about procrastination and—horrors!—that I’m a procrastinator. Actually, not so with Humdinger as much as with everything else. Humdinger’s more like a cigar. You can’t do it fast. You have to interact with the writers and poets because one day they may buy a Ben & Jerry’s franchise and then where will I be? Out of ice cream. Actually, I’m not crazy about ice cream. Actually, that’s not true. Oh, I know what to say. I have favorite ice cream flavors. Don’t do chocolate, but My novel’s underway, but 50+ pages isn’t enough. My house is under construction, you know, the type that messes up the bathroom or the deck or this or that. Wish I had a planetarium under construction at my house, because then I’d have a planetarium. And I’m getting ready for vacation, but I don’t really know what that is right now. So I have to plan that and I’m editing Humdinger Literary E-zine and having problems with the newsletter getting out and that’s driving me crazy. That novel will get written and so will yours, though, because we writers have got to stick together like flies to fly traps (not a great metaphor, because fly traps don’t catch them all, do they?) and inspire one another. I’ve got a novel challenge going and we’ll see who has the tough cookies to complete a novel by year’s end (2006, that is). Explore the site and you’ll learn a lot you need to know to survive as a writer. You may also get to know some decidedly weird people by clicking here to read about Humdinger writers. Don’t be afraid. Since you know they bite, then you’ll come prepared and wearing your armor, right?
Click here to find some very useful links. Or here to learn what editors want. Or here to subscribe to the darn newsletter that's killing me (but is well worth your time). What do I appreciate as an editor? Loosely related things: books. Unrelated things: raises or tax cuts. Related things: here’s what you really wanted to know. I find unexpected subjects in stories with unusual vocabulary and casual endings the most endearing to my editorial type. But since I’m a multi-genre reader, I can’t outline all my tastes. I’m just as apt to ooh and aah over a science fiction story or a singing poem. I do, however, have a problem with itchy wool sonnets or polyester prose. Topics I'll discuss: literary news and politics, writing, creating a literary website, promotional and marketing ideas, editing, Humdinger, cool websites, coffee or tea, lack of sleep. Hobbies I could mention: not drowning (one of my favorites!), reading, gardening, flying kites, hiking, traveling, painting, my novels and poetry, attending World Peace meetings while stargazing or watching STAR TREK (the original TREK, because Kirk, Spock, and McCoy were the triumvirate of at least the Enterprise), and the next hobby I develop. As you can tell, I'm here often, so bookmark this page and check in once in while to see what's happening.
Inspiration Page (my list of inspirational movies for writers, article, and PowerPoint presentation)
 Once a month, I go whole hog. Get the slingpen going and write me up some right sizeable articles on writin’, thinkin’ about writin’, and makin’ writin’ a permanent possibility. Mmm hmm. Then, I throw in some bodacious links for writers. Not to mention members’ only freebies for writers. FREE. Get yer fresh hog: Jack of Genre: Newsletter for Writers—because there’s so much crap out there this has to do you some good. CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE TO JACK OF GENRE. Visit regularly to learn what's happening with the website, Humdinger Literary E-zine and record-breaking technological blunders. And of course, learn what an editor wants and needs! Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Shove it? Used it? Abused it? Hey, if you have something to say about this IT, I’m cordial. Send feedback to Chris: Editor@humdingerzine.com |
THE RETURN OF CHRIS-ALMOST Happy New Year! Well, I disappeared for a while and luckily, I can account for it. I got a bug and let it get the best of me before I went to the doctor. Ended up with two viruses and am currently taking antibiotics, etc. That accounts for November and December. In early November, I went to a conference in I still have vertigo from one of the viruses and am having to take time to get over its effects (with medicine’s help), particularly nausea while reading for too long. Recovery’s coming pretty well and soon I expect to be working with Humdinger in some capacity. Contests are on hold until all of the wonderful writers who’ve won contests are listed and given prizes. The anthology was actually in process, but I will work on it alone for a while, so it will take a reasonable amount of time. I guess I won’t be a dynamo anytime soon, but it shouldn’t be far away. I’ll be back soon though, for you and for me. Update Writing Contests Where I’ll Be Next Week Irony: to make you laugh Anthology Update Today’s my husband’s birthday, so it’s uncommon I’m available to write today. Where have I been? In college, getting a week long refresher course. I love college. I spent 30 hours this past week at the University of Texas (in Austin) and read a lot of essays about all sorts of controversial topics, learned more about writing and got fired up to write more. Writing Contests Right now, I personally sponsor the writing contests (financially). I’m not crazy; this is consistent with my personality type, which enjoys helping people for a hobby. However, Tim Bruderek wrote and told me he’s all tied up, meaning of course, that he can’t judge the contests for the time being. Well, guys, this dates back to March (April was done). Sooo, I judged everything and will post the winners as soon as I can (maybe in the wee hours tonight/Saturday morning). Catching up will cost me a bit, so I’ll see how many prizes I can get out this month and let you know. I’ve been faithful in awarding prizes, and I think Scott Sparling’s multiple contest entries are proof in the pudding. He knows from experience that those prizes really do come to your house—if you win, of course! Please don’t forget that, if you’re a winner, you should list this when speaking with literary agents, prospective employers, etc. New writing contests will be posted after the blog entry this evening. Where I’ll Be Next Week If you live in Irony I love ironic T-shirts. Stop Plate Tectonics. Oh yeah! But there are so many new ones. Check them out at What in the World? http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com And check out these hilarious signs (most of them ironic) at: Anthology I have to adapt to multiple schedules to make the anthology happen and it’s underway. The process of getting it into book form appears pretty simple and once everything’s organized, won’t take long. Please hold on and before you know it, I’ll be sending out permission requests to publish short stories and poems in the anthology. This is an incredible amount of work and people, one day I thought, why am I doing this? I can stop any minute. But that’s just the problem: I see things to completion. Don’t worry guys. Time schedules may be off periodically, but I will support you and your work, giving 110% of everything I’ve got to make sure I represent you well, often—and maybe even remember your name ;-)
SARCASTIC WISHES FROM JB JACK OF GENRE WOES—SOLVED? SARCASTIC WISHES FROM JB This comes from tutorjb, who I mentioned earlier in a blog has helped me immensely: Hi Chris! Just read your comments about insects in the block just before the B&B Bios. I've been wondering about the killer bee situation in Texas for a few years. It seems that Texas prohibited honey-farmers from importing them, but Arizona didn't, so how can Texas keep them out? And how are you going to catch eleven million illegal aliens or build a fence along the Texas border with Mexico that's at least 700-miles long? Then what color are you going to paint it? Sounds like too much for both you and me. Make me Cry GOOD! please, but this is still a serious question. Get out your leather mask and whip me Goood <G> \"Fun, fun, fun, till your daddy takes your T-bird away...\" Truly yours, JB :) Now you see he asked for a sarcastic reply, didn’t he? Okay . . . First off, why in the hell would you wonder about the killer bee situation in Texas, since you live up north? Did you see a documentary about killer bees and think, Wow, I wonder if they’ll go to Texas? Will the cowboys be able to rope ‘em all? No more than they would your wee little head! To answer your question: I don’t know! We have some huge bees and supposedly killer bees have sex and aren’t particular about with whom, so the killer bee strain’s should dissipate into mutant bee-wasps and bee-frogs and maybe some bee-humans. Now the Texas border thing . . . First of all, I don’t think anyone wants to “catch eleven million aliens.” This is just my guess, but I’m pretty sure jails are cramped already with mutant bee-humans. Then you ask what color? Are you implying that aliens would be more attracted or repelled by one color than another, or are you just demonstrating that a lack of wit’s more annoying than worrying about illegal aliens? Finally, get out my leather mask and whip you good? Call the bees. Now for this one, tutorjb asked for a straight answer: Chris - I thought you were going to start referring to Humdinger as a zine; not an ezine or worse, an e-zine. The URL uses zine. We talked about it when I found that dictionary entry on website vs. web site and the general contraction of(esp. newer, computer-related)English words. Remember? JB :) Well, tutorjb, I’m like Shakespeare. On the forefront of a new (digital) language, I like to play with it a little and I haven’t yet settled into one spelling. If I could place in my mind one spelling to always hold, it would be zine. However, some people still don’t know what that is. JACK OF GENRE WOES—SOLVED?
HUMDINGER JULY NEAR COMPLETION JACK OF GENRE, WHERE’S IT AT? THANKS TO SOME PEOPLE--SURPRISE HUMDINGER JULY NEAR COMPLETION I’ve been working on the July Humdinger since June, off and on and if you read previous blog entries, you’ll know chaos had its reign with me. So what? Now I feel like I can just about do anything, because if I vegetate, the July beasties will get me. To what do I refer? Um, every insect in the Universe that’s alive and waiting to bite us or contaminate our food at any moment. Um, the vultures that circle overhead while little kids wonder at the beauty of the “black eagles.” Yes, kid, you’ve never seen a bald eagle, but you see the black ones all the time. Maybe we should make the national bird a black eagle? Why not, kid? So, thanks to vultures and insects, I’m keeping moving right along! You may wonder, now why in the heck can’t the ‘zine be out yesterday? Because people, when we get into working with these wonderful writers and poets, there’s no way to say, “Let’s just find twenty or so e-mails and skip the rest.” It’s more like, “Oh, here’s an e-mail from that phenomenal poet so-and-so!” or “I can’t believe such-and-such wrote another great story!” And there’s updating one another and editing back and forth at times. We also have to turn down quite a few entries, but with the hope of regeneration into a better form. We offer suggestions for improvement for those. And well, I’ve been in this chair since JACK OF GENRE, WHERE’S IT AT? My newsletter’s been ready for over two weeks now, but I can’t send it! The formatting’s having major problems and I’m at a standstill. I paste the fine as can be Word document into my mailer at Website Wizard and it looks fine. Then I mail a copy to myself and the punctuation’s corrupted into question marks. I’ve tried changing the font styles and sizes, eliminating any colors, changing fonts inside the mailer program, etc. Nothing works! I’ve had the problem before and Website Wizard said that basically, all I could do would be to paste the document into Notepad, which strips coding. BUT, and that’s a huge but and butt) because that means I have to reparagraph this ten page thing. Then I could have the same problem next month, so I’m thinking and thinking, which we all know either gets us nowhere or wastes our time ;-) THANKS TO SOME PEOPLE--SURPRISE Thought I’d take a weird moment to thank some people who make a difference to me literarily (and as friends). First there’s MaryEllen, who might read this while she’s in China. She supports me as a friend and submitted a poem to one of our contests. Her compassion for my current situation really astounded me and warmed my heart. Shelly Smith, our new poetry editor is working diligently on not only editing, but creating a promotional site for us. Really, her positive, go-getter attitude makes me feel great! Lorena, our literary fiction editor, has helped so much already and I can’t wait to get this anthology going with her. And don’t forget Tim Bruderek, our contest judge, who willingly judges our contests for free. Now, how great can you get? Angel Logan has also been a great support, so we should all buy her book of poetry, which honestly guys, has to be one of the greatest gifts anyone ever gave to the world—a book of poetry to share kindness with others. You can learn more about this book at: http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/wingsofanangel/ Angel also gives fantastic advice. If you sign up for her updates, they’re a nice way to keep in touch. Scott M. Sparling and his wife Chrissie have been an awesome support; they’re both talented writers to boot! Scott has entered (and won and perhaps will be winning) many of our contests, which I don’t judge. That’s just saying the contests are impartial, but I am not. Jon Berahya has sent in poetry for our anthology and I’m thrilled, because I think he’s one of the greatest poets ever http://search.yahoo.com/bin/search?p=Jon%20Berahya (Kalae too). Heather Lindsay’s been really supportive by offering to help with new contests. Hope we can get everything together to do them! Peggy (Margaret) Fieland’s been great and lets me know what she thinks of my blog entries, which is nice, because I write pages and pages and don’t know if anyone’s reading. Then there’s Lloyd Frye, who’s sent in a great many stories and makes me wish I can be as prolific a writer. Stan Krajewski, who sends his gifts of poetry my way and takes such awesome pictures to share with the world. Then there’s tutorjb (you know who you are), without whose like/hate e-mails I couldn’t be a decent writer. There are certainly more awesome writers and poets out there who may be reading this and thinking, “But what about me, Chris?” Well, yes, you too! Of course! I just wanted to get started on thanking some of you even though all of you make a difference to Humdinger—and to me, quite personally. Update with Humdinger, Jack of Genre Unlike a paid magazine, Humdinger still has the touches of home . . . and irritation, I guess (because schedules must fluctuate from time to time to allow flexibility in the lives of Humdinger’s staff). A series of great events (unexpected family vacation time) and horrific ones (near divorce) have beset me and you know I’ve produced publications while quite ill or frustrated with computer whatnot. However, I’ve found it challenging to return to Humdinger because of family obligations and will have the July issue of Humdinger complete by next week. Jack of Genre is complete but I’ve suffered technical difficulty in sending it, getting garbled text on the sendout and you know that’s irked me something. I’ve been trying to get the time to sit down and even this second, I’m rushed and being waited on to leave and hike a quite gigantic rock. I will return bit by bit and next week, things should be returning to their normal schedule. Please pardon any inconvenience whatsoever. Not only do you matter to me, but you are an essential part of my life and I will endeavor to return Humdinger and Jack of Genre’s regular schedule as best and soon as I can. And yes, at I’m Working on a Novel!; Novel Writing Challenge; Ideas for Writing a Novel Worksheet; Jack of Genre: Newsletter for Writers I don’t know if you’re goal driven, but I sure am. I’m working on another novel and while my ideas seem to bounce around in the air, you have to admit, sometimes I get things done. Actually, while I let many things go slack, I’m determined that novels should be written in under a month. If you take a year to write a novel, how do you keep the character’s emotions fresh with you? Besides, if you wait too long, it’s easy to put off a project, isn’t it? Where am I with my novel? Let me check. Page 56. I’ve spent a few days working on it and the first several, I trudged through the muck. I had an idea several months ago, but putting it to paper, so to speak (because I draft on my computer—saves time), is more difficult. So, those first days, put in my colloquial language, sucked. I did NOT spend whole days. Au contraire! I spent an hour each day, forcing a chapter a day. Then two chapters yesterday and two today. I passed my 30 page mark and lo and behold, the characters have trapped me in their world and I can’t stop writing now until their story’s told! This is what I love about novel writing. Characters come to life and draw you into wanting to work with them more. It’s quite a paradox, since you created them! We have a Novel Writing Challenge for serious writers intent on producing a novel THIS YEAR. If you’re ready and eager, click here to visit the Novel Writing Challenge page. If you think you may be ready, why not copy, paste, and print our new June’s Jack of Genre is late coming and in progress this Wednesday evening, because I’ve pulled myself together after a recent catastrophe. Thank you all for reaching out and letting me know you’re there and you care. You guys are fantastic. Better than I deserve ;-) Pen to Paper~ Chris JUNE HUMDINGER PROGRESS Humdinger’s coming along slowly for a great reason. I’m taking time out with many special writers. This involves editing and all sorts of dialogue, plus constructing the Zine. Today’s work started for me about six hours ago. My shoulders hurt and fingers are sore and cramped. This is the second such day. Anyone who thinks this is easy ought to try this. However, my work pays off and I’m so glad I can help so many writers see print for the first or one of the first times. Don’t be surprised to know that Humdinger also publishes experienced, well-known, and recognized writers and poets. I think published authors like the rather quick interaction we have (I say quick when compared to the publishing industry—especially book publishers.) I’m not being snobby, by the way. I read something about that last night. No, I don’t put on airs. I have a confident personality, but I’m very modest and insecure like everyone else on the personal front. Confidence, though, is essential when taking on products such as writing novels and of course, publishing magazines and soon—our first anthology. Specific progress. Most pages are produced and now I’m working on linking them, which means you can't see them yet. Since my shoulders are caving in, I’m going to take a little break. Never fear, though. I’m on it! JUNE HUMDINGER UNDERWAY CUT OUT YOUR DARK WORDS NATIONAL SPELLING BEE JUNE HUMDINGER UNDERWAY Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean an issue’s not in process. Though this website doesn’t require knowledge of HTML coding to get going (thanks to Website Wizard), most of my page creation is done on hidden pages that only I can view. When I’m done or at have at least partially completed a page, I post it for you to read. I love this option with Website Wizard, because that’s allowed me to give writers a preview of their stories or poems as they’ll appear later. Honestly, Website Wizard’s about as helpful and useful as a technologically challenged user’s website can be. You want to know when the Zine will be finished. Probably by late evening of June 2nd. Interesting obstacles have slowed my progress, but mainly my husband’s second car accident since October of last year. Did I tell you then that he got rearended? Well, he got rearended again (two days ago) while at a stoplight. In October, he was rearended while in stop and go traffic. I feel like forbidding him to stop anywhere at anytime—maybe even removing his brakes!—so that no one can ever rearend him again (and suddenly, I hate the sound of “rearend.”) Tragic mess, people. And this time, the motorist was uninsured. Actually, she didn’t pay her insurance bill on time… CUT OUT YOUR DARK WORDS Our recent What in the? Contest required writers to pen stories without use of the word “the.” Many commented on how helpful they found the exercise and their writing reflected the impact of this creative exercise. Hitting a wall with writing? Try omitting some words that slow you down. Words to consider might be: the, that, to be verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, etc.), good, bad and any other hot words you have. NATIONAL SPELLING BEE The National Spell Bee proved that I’m way stupider than I ever imagined. With that and PBS programming, I may have to return to 2nd grade for a refresher. Did you know the meaning of any of the final words before today (if you watched)? If you didn’t watch, most of the final words derived from the following languages: French (duh), German, Hawaiian (look at how they spelled their state name and guess at how similarly they spell to standard English), Hebrew/Yiddish, Italian (sure you knew what giacoso meant…), and Persian. Um, I know this is MY 3 ½ MINUTE INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH JACK IS BACK NONFICTION VERSUS FICTION MY 3 ½ MINUTE INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH Listen to my new inspirational message for you at: http://user98512.websitewizard.com/Songs-of-Inspiration.html (Click on the above link to listen.) JACK IS BACK Jack of Genre: Newsletter for Writers is going out tonight with more freebies, writing humor, creative ideas and useful articles. If you subscribe to Jack, read the whole damn thing and let me know which part helps the creative juices flow by contacting me at: NONFICTION VERSUS FICTION If you listened to my inspirational speech, you learned that I value fiction. More than nonfiction, actually. I can use an informational book or autobiography any day, but I enjoy fiction and losing myself in a book more than I’ve ever enjoyed nonfiction works. However, if you’ve read about recently published books, you also know many of them aren’t fiction. This is a serious consideration for writers. What to do? Many fiction writers get around this by basing their fiction on topics and characters that sound familiar and well, real. Something to think about when you’re penning your latest novel or short story… I WAS IN I WAS IN My absences tend to go noticed, so here’s the reason I was out for a while: I was in I’ve got to get the pictures from The graduation went rather well, by the way, at my alma mater, Florida International University of Miami, Florida. My son’s high school held his graduation there. He will also attend FIU and major in commercial architecture. I told him I’d try to be famous enough to give a speech at his college graduation. MY BEACH SECRET If you ever visit
NEW WRITING CONTESTS POSTED July’s contests are now posted and they’re quite a challenge. Give it a try by clicking here.
ANTHOLOGY; INTERACTIVE BOOKS; WHAT I’M DOING (Mother’s Day gift idea) ANTHOLOGY You’ll hear it here first about my plans for our anthology. I’ve got Most of it hammered out, but minor details elude me. September is my personal deadline for Humdinger’s Best of the Year Anthology. The anthology should be prepared for sale by September 1st. The cool part is I kinda figured out how to cut some sales for the writers. Rather than pay the writer a paltry ten bucks (a token payment), I’ll cut writers a profit off every verified sale. A sale can be verified if the writer lets me know which people he or she sent to purchase an anthology. However, this presents its own lack of perfection, no? Sure, it’s inconvenient to e-mail us to let us know who you sent to buy an anthology. After all, friends and family members may not tell you they’re purchasing one. If you’re reading this and you have a good idea about what to do to help us verify which writers sent which sales, PLEASE let me know! I’m sure several of you have fantastic ideas, so share ‘em! INTERACTIVE BOOKS I’m an advocate of interactive anything. The Rocky Horror Picture Show owes its popularity, no doubt, to some water guns, rice, and newspaper. Today, I spent driving time musing over how to make my books more interactive. In fact, this topic needs to be an article (expect this in my monthly newsletter for writers, Jack of Genre; sign up for Jack by clicking here). However, picking my brain now, so to speak, won’t hurt. I’m thinking of the recipes in the novel Like Water for Chocolate. Some mystery series have tea recipes and ideas. What can you add to your books that would make them even more desirable? If you’re aiming for teens or children, for example, you can reach them through teachers. What do teachers and parents want in a book? Teachers often want lesson plans—worksheets and ideas for how to teach with your book. Parents look for some educational value. The kids, meanwhile, love games. What if you don’t write for children? Readers enjoy things that speak to them and share more than just the story. The idea is just like show business; give ‘em what they didn’t know they wanted! WHAT I’M DOING (Mother’s Day gift idea) I keep my life super busy, as you guys well know if you read here regularly. I’ve sent out prizes to our recent contest winners, kept in touch with previous writers, been requesting and storing works for our Best of the Year Anthology, edited manuscripts, overseen the archiving of April Humdinger and more. Also, though, I’ve been gardening (digging up spreading seedlings for plants to give to friends and maintaining everything). I’m continuing with my jogging regimen and increasing my time spent jogging by about a minute every two days. Light weight lifting really helps with that too, because it helps increase your oxygen supply. Area weather has thwarted occasional plans, because we’ve had up to softball size hail (but mainly golfball size hail). No, this isn’t normal. I’ve also been giving art lessons to a promising young artist. Like many of you, I had to find Mom a Mother’s Day gift. I searched online for the ingredients for Ralph Lauren’s Lauren (discontinued), which Mom loved, but which caused her to sneeze. Making the fragrance anew, I could eliminate what triggered her allergy--sandalwood. I searched around at customized fragrance sellers’ websites: http://www.gardenbotanika.com and http://www.spiritbody.com. (By the way, I’ve used Garden Botanika before and everyone loved the fragrance and the gift wrap—they got a purple velvet box. The combo that I selected at Garden Botanika was balsam as a base, white clover, and vanilla. People couldn’t shut up about how great it smelled in their moisturizer.) This time, however, Spirit Body had what I needed: they allowed me to select as many fragrance combinations as I needed (I’d choose Red Clover Tea for romantic women) and they had products for vegans (my sister will love this part when she gets her guilt-free present. Am I the only one who’s had trouble finding vegan-friendly products for family members?). For my sister, who’s more of a nonconformist with Eastern tastes, Spirit Body’s Black Rose fragrance with Patchouli will be a hit.) Someone out there asked what a vegan is. They don’t eat animal products: no meat, egg, dairy. This is often due to the treatment of animals in captivity for food sources. Back to the main topic, though. I think customizing fragrances for people is an awesome gift idea if you generally know people better than they know themselves. NEW EDITOR ANNOUNCED MAY HUMDINGER UNDERWAY BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH SUBMISSIONS THIS MONTH THE PRINT HUMDINGER AND HUMDINGER ANTHOLOGY NEW EDITOR ANNOUNCED Lorena Smith has joined Humdinger for many activities, mainly to help edit literary fiction and take Humdinger ‘zine and anthology to print. She’s a strong writer with a modern edge and surely a fantastic addition to our family. Like to meet her? Click here to see her page! MAY HUMDINGER UNDERWAY Things an editor must face! My editorial assistant had pressing demands this week, so at the last minute, here I am behind in schedule. The first rule of managing I think should be flexibility. Don’t sweat the small stuff, as the book says (and makes sense). Oh, getting the ‘zine out in time is BIG stuff, but if obstacles persist, then do what you can as soon as you can as courteously as you can, right? I missed the BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH SUBMISSIONS THIS MONTH Okay, another setback has definitely been submissions. I have some January submissions that require so much work I don’t want to begin on them. I will and am, never fear, but it’s depressing sometimes. WHEN EVERY LINE’S CAPITALIZED IN A POEM: One problem I face is with poetry submissions. I strongly believe each line of poetry should be capitalized only if needed, not how the computer forces it to be. That’s something I always address with poets and correct for poets to view. WHEN SEMI-COLONS ARE USED (OR NOT): Semi-colons combine two complete sentences. Or should. Definitely, a comma shouldn’t do this. Some writers aren’t using anything but commas and periods when semi-colons are needed. Another area of confusion with semi-colons is that they can be used to combine sentences when the second sentence has the same understood subject as the first. Example: We felt ambition came last; felt tradition came first. The understood subject is “we” and this example is fine. However, writers are pushing the understood subject to the limit, even using a semi-colon without it. When in doubt, ask http://www.google.com FORMATTING: Formatting is always a problem. Weird things happen to documents when sent through e-mail. Or, let’s face it, we all probably have many different computers and word processing programs. At least avoid writing using WordPad or Notepad, if possible. These programs are designed to help on the most basic level, but cause problems with formatting with other programs. By far, Microsoft Word is everywhere and my suggestion for any budding writer. THE PRINT HUMDINGER AND HUMDINGER ANTHOLOGY We’ll be in print soon and I can’t wait for those plans! After much consideration, I’ve opted to go quarterly for the magazine and yearly for the Best of Humdinger anthology. Long term deadlines for the above are August and September. I’m also thinking and thinking and thinking! about the best way to share profits with writers for sales they help make. The problem I’m facing so far is when a writer refers someone to purchase a magazine or anthology and the person buys it at our storefront—how will we know who referred them? We won’t be using our own storefront. Come on guys, I have a SECRET WAY TO LOWER PRICE OF A CAR; PLASTIC ART; WRITING AND ART SECRET WAY TO LOWER PRICE OF A CAR When I bought my 2005 Mazda6, I purchased a one-year-old car because a car depreciates heavily during its first year. Wait a year or two and you lose less. After a few years, the value of a car stabilizes and remains around what you paid for it. My car will still depreciate, but I have the added advantage of low mileage and a longer warranty than an older car. Getting to the secret: I don’t know about you, but haggling over a new car AND the value of your old car is draining. By the time most people sign the paperwork, they’re haggled out. Don’t be. Unfortunately (for them), while I waited my turn to sign my paperwork, many computers were available, so I did a search on the company supposedly financing my car. Problem was, the interest rate they offered online was much lower than what I’d been quoted. Using numbers from the lender’s website, I was able to drive down the interest rate on my loan with the loan officer at the dealership. Incidentally, most lenders offer a better deal than the dealership, so shop around before you look at your car. Since over a period of years you pay thousands in interest, that makes a big difference. I will also pay more than the monthly payment to save even more money on interest. PLASTIC ART I paint with acrylics, which are plastic paints, really. The medium’s new and I like the fact that I paint with plastic instead of oil paints. I can’t stand the smell of oil paint while it’s drying. Plus, plastic lasts like a Duracell battery without the corrosive elements. WRITING AND ART Writing and art both come from the right brain, the creative side. It’s no wonder that many writers are involved in multiple creative tasks. So many of you like some of the following right-brained activities (which can also use the left brain, of course): painting, photography, gardening, singing, dancing, acting, etc. I love most creative arts and sometimes, using one creative art helps me with another. A painting inspires me to write, or a song, or a performance. Enjoy the arts—and support other artists!—to find more stellar writing ideas! MY NEW CAR; MY ART IN MUSEUM; JACK OF GENRE; WHY SETTING’S IMPORTANT: MAXINE HONG MY NEW CAR Part of the reason I haven’t submitted to the blog recently is because I was getting a “new” car. I spent several weeks pondering what I’d get and solicited the input of many people. I wasn’t happy with Mitsubishi’s financing company, though I dearly loved (and still miss) my light blue, 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse. What I wanted was something with gadgets; I’m crazy about gadgets. I wanted a sports look but room enough for people like my 90-year-old grandmother who insists on sitting in the back seat (just try getting your grandmother in the back seat of an Eclipse!). Options boiled down to: a Chrysler 300c, which sounded great until I read a review that a MY ART IN MUSEUM The JACK OF GENRE For most people, receiving my newsletter for writers was pretty easy. Not for me, of course! It takes me weeks to formulate the ideas, news, freebies, articles, etc. I’m sure people like it, because my hundreds of subscribers stay subscribed. I wonder what people think about it though? How can I get more audience response, do you think? Any input is greatly appreciated. I still have input from the quotes I’m considering for T-shirts that I need to post here, but you can bet I read your input and will do something with it, whether it’s respond or use the information to some good. WHY SETTING’S IMPORTANT: MAXINE HONG I got a video series on writing and watched a selection from Maxine Hong Kingston, who wrote The Woman Warrior, which is similar to a modern-day Mulan. I love that novel and eastern-themed fiction. The series showed her sitting out in nature, handwriting her notes about her thoughts. She mentioned writing many drafts before she liked what she had written. I do this too, but only after I’ve finished the novel. Anyway, HOW DO I ORGANIZE MY WRITING?; YAHOO AND SPYWARE UNITED? A WRITER’S LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Chris, I enjoyed reading your Blog entry about your new laptop. I am hoping to get a laptop for my birthday in August -- at present, having if anything too many computers in my life, I am keeping master copies of my poems online in my Yahoo briefcase. This way I can get at it from anywhere, plus they are responsible for backing up. So, yup, I'm absolutely paranoid about computer data disasters, having been through a good many. I really wasn't responsible for most of them. Really. Still, a laptop would be very nice for journaling. As I pretty much never reread my journal entries, I wouldn't mind so much if I lost them. So, really, what do you do about organizing your writing? I have been keeping good track of my poems only for about the last year or so. That leaves *many* years of poems in parts unknown. Some of them may be in my old journals in the attic but no doubt a good many are lost forever. MY RESPONSE: Let’s get organized in three steps! First off, I wish I could buy a new laptop for you for your birthday. I hope the thought counts ;-) Also, I’m positive you didn’t cause those computer disasters. We all know computers don’t need our help to do that! The fear of computer disasters is ever present, but we do need to organize our writing. Since you’re discussing poetry, how best to organize it? Step One: Set Mini-Goals: Work in sections of time. Say to yourself, Today I’m going to do something about some newer poetry and do something with some older poetry. Then set a mini-goal. Today, I will file five old poems and copy and paste five newer ones into a poetry book. If you don’t reach your goal, so what? The point is in trying to achieve your goals. Sometimes I set the goal of answering 10 e-mails and on occasion I’ll make that or surpass it. Then, one day I’ll get to one big e-mail. One is better than nothing and so this is the value in setting mini-goals. Whether I inch forward or leap forward, I’m moving in the right direction! Now, where to place this stuff physically. Step Two: Give Everything a Place: My printed poems are in a Huge open top file case with 26 pretty nicely filled pockets. My handwritten poems are in a manila folder. I have many poems burned on CD now (I wonder what I’ll do if anything happens to those CDs). Having an online place for your poetry is great too. Step Three: Keep the Final Purpose in Mind: HERE’S THE NEW IDEA: I see the point of writing as producing books to share with others. So, why not store poetry/stories in your computer in one file as a book and online on a website to help develop a reading audience (fans)? I think we should organize our writing with its final purpose in mind: to get to a printed manuscript, whether we publish it for ourselves, family or the world (I suggest sharing it with the world). Finally, save more than one copy of everything. So, if you have writing online or in your computer, try to burn it on CD (disks are quickly becoming archaic). Or, save it online and on your computer. YAHOO AND SPYWARE UNITED? Wish I’d kept the date marked when I accused Yahoo of having suspicious behavior. Now, current news with Site Pro and Webpro News indicates Yahoo’s connection with spyware and Yahoo’s inability to stop the spyware once they realized it had gone too far. Since I said, “Yahoo sucks” before, you know I believe this is true. In my computer, tons of new suspicious files loaded into my computer when I got Yahoo DSL. My computer (both old and the New One) wouldn’t shut down once they had Yahoo’s DSL installed. Of course, as soon as I used my new computer for the first time, Yahoo simply had to load the Instant Messenger, even though I’d deleted it before. I don’t have Yahoo DSL at work, but I check my Yahoo e-mail there at times and guess what? My home and work computers had the same spyware problems. Coincidence? Heck no. My advice? Absolutely no Yahoo DSL, if you don’t have it already and use other free e-mail accounts besides Yahoo. One link to information about this fiasco is below. BLOG CONTINUES AFTER TECHNOLOGICAL PROGRESS: When a Writer needs a Laptop and must search the Material Jungle to find one; DRAFTING A TALL TALE; CHRIS MEETS ONE OF HUMDINGER’S WRITERS; JACK OF GENRE UNDERWAY; E-MAIL WARNING BLOG CONTINUES AFTER TECHNOLOGICAL PROGRESS This is why I’ve been away (besides the Easter holiday): As if I weren’t hindered enough by technology, I just had to go and get a laptop. Like many modern writers, I want write my next novel in a Starbuck’s while sipping on a latte. Like other writers, I also have a morbid fear of drenching my new laptop with said latte. Who said there’s any winning this game? However, I’m pleased with this progress as I’m typing my blog on the road and that in my book is what I call Way Cool. Now a trip has purpose. It gives me time to write (so long, I guess, as there’s someone around to drive!). Keep in mind that I’m writing to an audience with mixed views regarding technology. A few of you grudgingly use computers. A few are learning and some view them as a necessary evil. Yes, a few readers even blow our minds with their technological finesse. The reason behind my acquisition of this new gadget to maintain is because my old computer’s, well, old. After a few years, the computer you have is bound to age and become obsolete, with newer programs and additions becoming incompatible. The more I wrote and interacted with others, the more I realized there’s just no beating this system. I had to give in, but not totally. If you’ve priced laptops, then you know what they charge for them could be a down payment for a used car. I was unwilling to pay a car-payment-level fee, so I searched well-known computer vendors. Once I found a suitable computer, I searched other websites for a lower price. Eventually, I ended up at Best Buy, one hour before close, purchasing the last computer on the last day of the sale. I got a Gateway laptop at a much lower than believable price. Techies want to know more than I know about the computer. Let’s say it has tons of memory and great speed. Nice screen (actually comparable with screens of laptops three times the price of mine). Do writers need laptops? It’s a digital journal! That’s like asking if artists need a sketchpad. I don’t care what the medium, writers need anything that allows them to put the metaphorical pen to paper (ah, now you understand my signature). If you’re reading this blog, then you bought into the digital aspect of writing (or at least reading). A laptop’s just the next step. Having one’s a bit scary, like riding a new bike or driving a new car—there are changes to adjust to along the way. My main problem’s been getting used to the positioning of a new keyboard and using my finger on the touchpad (while on the road)—accidentally doing things I don’t want done to my documents. By the way, your computer is a purchase for your business as a writer and therefore tax deductible. DRAFTING A TALL TALE I’m working on a tall tale to post with the tall tale contest. I like tall tales for an unexpected reason: I’m not naturally good at them. As with most humor, my tall tale will appeal to a specific audience—in this case, women and men who know something of child birth. With tall tales and humor in general, I try to select unexpected circumstances. So, my slant is with birth weights as opposed to the delivery process. I drafted two pages today while in the car. I made the tragic mistake of sharing it with my husband before it was complete. And the tall tale wasn’t up his alley, so now I find my creative fire’s extinguished a bit, but I’ll not let that destroy a story. The story must go on! CHRIS MEETS ONE OF HUMDINGER’S WRITERS This entry should have been first, but all entries are important to me. Besides, I wanted you to have a reading goal. I’ll get into specifics more in the future, but we met at JACK OF GENRE UNDERWAY The April Jack of Genre’s been underway, but with Easter weekend, got held back. Never fear, Jack of Genre will be here! E-MAIL WARNING Hopefully, you’re not receiving a lot of uninvited e-mails (known as SPAM). Watch out! If you receive a request for information from your bank, contact them in person (don’t use the phone number or other info from the suspicious e-mail). If you receive a request for information from E-bay—it’s fake. Contact E-bay if you must, but DON’T use the link in the suspicious e-mail. Instead, go to E-bay’s website and contact them through there. Other spam may be labeled: Your News, Your Account Information, Your Account #, etc. Also, other spam includes e-mails that claim they’ll get money for you. Sometimes, they’ll use your name to get your attention. They get your name and e-mail from disreputable companies who sell your name, or perhaps from some form or survey you completed. Humdinger never sells or shares names with other companies. But you must be vigilant and avoid opening suspicious e-mails. 4-11-06 TRY OUT A US MAP GAME (HA!); INTERVIEW WITH GOD SITE’S ONTO SOMETHING Have fun on me today. Call it a games day. I love games: 42, Hearts, Risk, and I play a mean game of magnetic poetry. I also love other Internet toys. Have fun with these! TRY OUT A US MAP GAME (HA!);
Just for FUN!!
How well do you know the US? You must place each state EXACTLY where it goes. I got 82% in 309 seconds, first try. Just when you begin to think you’ve got at least a dinosaur-sized pea brain, then something like this comes along…
http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/states_experiment_drag-drop_Intermed_State15s_500.html INTERVIEW WITH GOD SITE’S ONTO SOMETHING Gorgeous pictures, great music, inspiring thoughts… I think it was two years ago that I received an e-mail from a not-particularly-religious friend. In it, I found a link to one of the most impressive things I’ve seen online: Interview with God. The music’s changed (the original floored me), though what’s there now appeals and inspires. I liked it so much, I’ve kept returning over time—just to see what’s happened with the site. For a while, nothing happened. Then, they had another “film.” Now, there are many films. It’s a matter of personal choice. I still enjoy the Interview with God series. Check it out. http://www.interviewwithgod.com
Many entries follow. I had trouble posting the other day… I CAN’T AFFORD GASOLINE FUNNY ANIMATED SHORT; SAVE BIG BUCKS ON TRAVEL THE EASY WAY (CHRIS-STYLE). I CAN’T AFFORD GASOLINE FUNNY ANIMATED SHORT
Tocci has several great short videos, but this is my favorite. While you’re there, see if you like any of the others… http://toccionline.kizash.com/movies/i_cant_afford_my_gasoline/ SAVE BIG BUCKS ON TRAVEL THE EASY WAY (CHRIS-STYLE). |