BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIOS       

JULY BIOS ARE ON THE WAY!   When you think of July, what comes to mind? The 4th of July? How lame! What about massive insect invasions? Did you ever get stung by a bee--in December? What about ants at your Thanksgiving picnic? And what flies in the door during January? Yes, July has its fireworks and fireflies and other flies besides. Watch out! There's one on your food! Well, Humdinger writers are like the insects of the world. We have a purpose, but no one can really define it. Yeah, we're special. That's the ticket!

JULY HUMDINGER LITERARY E-ZINE BIOS   DANIEL J. DZIEDZIC’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO: I have lived my entire life in Chicago. Born and Raised. I love to write and read in my spare time. And I definitely watch too many movies. Way too many. I hope to one day write a screenplay or at least work on film. I have an odd sense of humor and tend to laugh at things most people do not find funny. But what fun is life if you cannot laugh at things? When in doubt, just smile and you will either see a smile in return or a look of confusion. Either is supremely satisfying. I think my humor comes from years of working in retail. Watching people is hysterical sometimes. I am rarely ever angry except when I am woken up, so I try to sleep as little as possible. That's just how I am.   LLOYD H. FRYE’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO: Born in California in 1947, another surprise to a returning soldier, he grew up in Kansas City, yes, where the slaughterhouses are, and drifted through colleges during the Viet Nam War on a II-S deferment. Worked odd jobs and finally joined electronics manufacturing industry in 1978. NAFTAed in the back in 2003, and unemployed ever since. Bitterness and boredom were the engines of his writing beginning early last year.   Published:   Is There Anything Wrong Officer?    Humdingerzine.com   Political Fiction (April, 2006) Is There Anything Wrong Officer?    Dyingwriters.com  No More Drugs                                  Dyingwriters.com                                                                                                                                                 Contests:   PROMS             Finalist in Space Exploration Writing Contest  Humdingerzine.com (April, 2006)     RICKY GINSBURG’S BRIEF BIO:   Ricky Ginsburg 11161 Sandyshell Way Boca Raton, Florida  33498 561-488-4815 Fawnridge@bellsouth.net www.fawnridge.com/ricky   Ricky Ginsburg escaped from New Jersey in 1998 on the eve of his 45th birthday to the wilds of Southeastern Florida just at the edge of the everglades. He works only when necessary, preferring a day at the beach or the company of scantily clad college girls at Florida Atlantic University.   As a writer he is only minimally published, having restarted his writing career in 2004 with a nine-part tale of competition barbecue in The National Barbecue News. The photo above is from an article in Zone 10 Gardening Magazine (now defunct) that Ricky wrote about solving the mistakes most Northerners make when they try to garden in South Florida.   Ricky has had more than his fair share of fame having exceeded Warhol’s predictions with almost eleven years at WFMU radio (not defunct) and two and half years at WBCN–-Boston (should be defunct.) His radio show at WFMU–-Synthetic Pleasure–-had, for a long while, almost a half million listeners and is most famous for his discovery of Yanni. During that phase of his fame, he wrote and published a magazine also cleverly called Synthetic Pleasure that had over 1000 subscribers at its apogee.   Currently his writings are slanted towards the genre of Magical Realism and can be found on both his website and http://www.zoetrope.com.    CHRIS GOEBEL'S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO: Every month, our writers have the opportunity to make asses of themselves on this page--or not. Some writers find it refreshing to avoid pretension (and some of my critics say I save that for my writing). I think other writers are pretty eager to read our bios to determine who's the month's biggest ass, second biggest ass and so on. Or, they could be reading to discover which of us should still be on medication. My guess is that many writers still self-medicate. I dunno …   This thingy here's supposed to be about me, so _ (Yes, that was an underscore to indicate how the word "so" fluctuates.) I love movies, particularly comedies and adventures. I'm a lackluster comic and afraid of heights, so I enjoy watching other people get it right. I learned from a friend to rewind movies during funny parts to watch the scene again. Try it. Each time it will make you laugh harder (Try watching Marsha Brady getting a black eye ten times in a row.). Then, it will be imprinted on your brain so you won't lose that comedic thrill over time. The funniest thing in my opinion is Steve Martin's skit, The Waiter. He begins by repeating a woman's steak order: "So, that will be a lard omelette?" Oh, and it just got better and better. Of course, it makes you want to know if there are lard omelettes….   Speaking of lard, I saw Napolean Dynamite, which was a lackluster movie, but calling his llama Tina a fat lard really got me. I do live for those small lines in horrible movies. Lots of people hated Kung Pow, but I couldn’t stop laughing when the narrator said, “I was raised by rodents…” I think the people sitting behind me wanted to slap me after I laughed for the first five minutes. But little did they know, I had been raised by sludge monkeys from the secret Sahara Desert Marsh….   TIM HARNETT’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO: Tim Harnett, or when he's feeling snooty, The Reverand Timothy Jay Harnett VII, A.A, B.A, has two favorite words: riboflavin and nomenclature. Riboflavin spelled backwards is nivalfobir, nomenclature is erutalcnemon. In his spare time Tim tries to use these words in sentences. Tim also enjoys acting and sleep, thought not too much of both.   KATHERINE LUCK’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO: After the unalterable assertion that she would become a surgeon, Katherine Luck drank cocktails with the President of Finland, dyed her hair green, and received a degree in Theatre Arts from the University of Oregon.  Said degree (and hair) meant that she was perfect for a career in children's social services, working with folks who couldn't speak English.  Is it any wonder she's now a freelance writer? Katherine's Straight-up Bio (boooooring): A recipient of the 2006 Celebration Foundation Grant for Writing, my short fiction has appeared in several literary publications.  I am a member of Seattle Playwrights Studio and Seattle Dramatists, and a number of my plays have received regional and national awards, as well as professional theatre productions.   CHRIS MAJOR’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO: Chris Major's lack of mental health helps him to empathize with the client group he looks after. Now training as a Psychiatric Nurse, he has happily burnt his chemistry degree. Chapbook The Lowest Level available at htpp://www.whiteleafpress.co.uk, Online chapbook All Of This And Nothing, forthcoming from LILY EZINE in August 2006.   LORENA SMITH'S (LITERARY FICTION EDITOR) BRIEF BIO: Click here to view Lorena's page.   SHELLY SMITH'S (POETRY EDITOR) BRIEF BIO: Click here to view Shelly's page.   SCOTT SPARLING’S BRIEF BIO: Scott Sparling is a published writer with four plays, one short story, and many poems in publication. He is a full time balloon entertainer who does magic, paints, and writes for anyone who will pay him. Scott is a part-time ninja master, so his ninja powers only work part of the time.   GiggleWorks is an entertainment company owned and operated by Scott and his wife Chrissie (also in this month’s Humdinger!). Under GiggleWorks, they perform magic shows, balloon animals, face painting, comedy, tarot readings, palm readings and more. The web address is www.giggleworks.net  EDEN TRENOR’S BRIEF BIO: Raccoons used to live in Eden's backyard, pawing at and peeking into her childhood, next to the cat litter sandbox. Having spent numerous rolls of film on water towers and the shadows of trees on the sides of houses, Eden has finally begun looking down when she walks. Her skin dries in wet weather and she can't help it.   TONY ZURLO’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO: Tony taught in Nigeria with the Peace Corps in his careless youth. His quest to repel middle age routed him through China. There his students convinced him he'd accumulated too much negative karma in his previous life as a corrupt Qing Dynasty official. So his punishment was reincarnation as an American trapped in Texas. To conceal from editors his age, gender, size, race, religion, politics, and other private predispositions, Tony survives folded up in a back room in Arlington, Texas, working on Alice in Cyberland, his anxiously-awaited history about 21st century American foreign policy.

JUNE EDITION OF HUMDINGER LITERARY E-ZINE, 2006

MARK BENNETT’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO:   It was a cool, crisp February day in Oregon when the world greeted the arrival of the next great writer. His mother wept tears of joy, his father wept tears of confusion, and the baby boy simply cried out this stanza: Clouds roll by on sounds of thunder Lightening tears the trees asunder Old Man Skeeter's on the tear Huntin' down a mean old bear   No, it wasn't Garth Brooks . . . it was Mark Bennett, the finest comedy writer in his entire imagination. After enduring an interesting upbringing in the West, attending the University of Oregon to obtain a degree in Biochemistry, he moved out East to be amongst his "people." They have yet to embrace him, as greatness is difficult to behold, yet he works unabashedly in research by day and on his writing by night. Currently, he's shopping around with a book of short stories and a complete novel . . . have your people call my people if you're interested . . .   JON BERAHYA’S BRIEF BIO:   Jon Berahya is a comedian/writer/artist living in Lexington, Kentucky, with bipolar disorder and his parents, who feed him well.  He would like to thank Dr. Shelton for all the medication samples and to the 2003 British Airways flight crews for providing him with safe passage to foreign lands and drinks that he is no longer allowed to partake of.    Note: Jon Berahya’s poem “Venezia” represented Humdinger Literary E-zine at http://www.litmocracy.com and won 2nd place. Congratulations, Jon!   JONATHAN BERMAN’S BRIEF BIO:   Jonathan Berman, despite his protests to the contrary, was born on Earth between ten and fifty years in the past. His claims to have visited the future should largely be ignored. Anyone who claims to have met him is probably lying. Nothing you have heard about him is true.   H. LOVELYN BETTISON’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO:   H. Lovelyn Bettison was born into a creative family with a strong storytelling background. Some call it lying. Lovelyn took to this tradition when she was quite young. She, especially, took to it when she had spilled fruit punch on the carpet. Now that she is an adult, Lovelyn makes up stories in her head while driving. The accident she was in a few months ago proves that this can be a dangerous distraction. Occasionally, she gets around to writing these stories down. Sometimes she even allows others to read them.      TIM BRUDEREK, CONTEST JUDGE:     Click here to view Tim's page!   AKIL DRAYTON’S BIO:     And here's a recent photo from a photo shoot of the apple of Akil's eye, his daughter:     I am a young entrepreneur in the telecom field at the moment. I am a father to a very beautiful and intelligent 4-year-old daughter, who I love so. I love to write and since I was turned to it by a 7th grade teacher who read through one of my notebooks and started to make me take notice that my writing was actually credible. I am in the process of collecting current pieces that are written from daily experiences or random thoughts that have been saved and reviewed, be it from the daily stress of work, or a simple smile you noticed from a beautiful woman. I am a very fun loving and comedic character; all who come in contact with me often feel an instant connection and friendship for a long time.      MARGARET FIELAND’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO:   Margaret Fieland lives and works in Massachusetts where, being an old fogie, she is still working on her website.  You can reach her by email at madcapmaggie@yahoo.com. LLOYD H. FRYE’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO:   Born in California in 1947, another surprise to a returning soldier, he grew up in Kansas City, yes, where the slaughterhouses are, and drifted through colleges during the Viet Nam War on a II-S deferment. Worked odd jobs and finally joined electronics manufacturing industry in 1978. NAFTAed in the back in 2003, and unemployed ever since. Bitterness and boredom were the engines of his writing beginning early last year.   Published:   Is There Anything Wrong Officer?    Humdingerzine.com   Political Fiction (April, 2006) Is There Anything Wrong Officer?    Dyingwriters.com  No More Drugs                                  Dyingwriters.com                                                                                                                                                 Contests:   PROMS             Finalist in Space Exploration Writing Contest  Humdingerzine.com (April, 2006)   CHRIS GOEBEL’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO:   When I came up with the concept behind brief and bizarre bios last September, my thought was that writers need to share something unpretentious with the world—more of our humanity. Or, if you will, our stupidity. While we enjoy one another’s success (okay, not really), we get a kick out of watching others screw up. Which leads to yet another tale of profoundly stupid things that have happened to me, though I refuse to claim these things make me stupid. They are stupid moments (and if you want to read more of mine later, just scroll down the page; I have several different bios on this L-o-o-o-n-n-g page). But just because I have many (okay many, many) stupid moments, doesn’t mean I’m . . . well, you get the picture.   Smoking cigarettes makes one cool. At least that’s what teenagers think and I was no exception. Plus, cigarettes, poetry and rebellion fit together like a skin tight leather outfit and I was both poet and rebel. Which leads to this fantastic moment. I was driving my utterly smooth Chevrolet Malibu, 1972, 40,000 miles only, during this time in 1986. What a truck in a car’s body! I raced Porsches to their devastating shame . . . except at this particular moment, when I was driving down the road that entered my subdivision.   With my coolness enveloping me, I pulled a slow drag off my cigarette, probably puffed out a few rings, checked myself in the mirror (tres teen, no?), and went to flick my ashes in the ashtray. But I missed the ashtray. The embers fell onto the carpet of my new-for-me car! I quickly wiped away at them, while attempting to avoid what I was sure would result in an explosion. When I looked up, it was just in time to see the local bar’s wooden fence fly off the hood of my car. Naturally, the Malibu didn’t retain a scratch, not that I stopped long enough to see!    Click here to read my blog.   VICTORIA GUIDI'S BRIEF BIO:   If she did not spend so much time writing unfinished stories, Victoria would open her own Key Lime pie bakery, with a menu that included: mandarin-lime pie, chocolate-mint-lime pie, and strawberry-mango-lime pie.   JEFFREY SCOTT JEWETT’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO: Fiction. Like this part right here, you reading my bio. As though my works are displayed at the grocery market, in the magazine section. I'm on the top rack of paperbacks. You reach for a copy, then regard the front cover: New York Times says, “It’s enchanting!” Boston Globe says, “For a black guy who can’ spell, it’ a knockout!” Then you turn the paperback over and regard my picture. Like this part right here, you reading my bio.   JOE KANE’S BRIEF BIO:   I am a pirate, a poet, a lover and a pup-it, but I am missing a couple of strings. I have been lying in a box gathering dust for the longest time. So I have decided to bust out and take life by the horns and live fully. I got one eye and one arm, so it’s going to be hard to see it all and give life a big hug, but I am game for a try.   "Give me writing or give me death," is what I say. My dreams include sailing around the world to bring world attention to the abilities of the "physically challenged." They say it’s important to do things in your mind first, and then to do them for real. So far, I have seen myself sail to the end of the Delaware River ... it’s a start. I can be found during the weekends on the tall ship Gazela, located in Philadelphia up aloft. Please don't wave at me if you visit, I might wave back and that would be bad.They call me "JackB.Nimble," also “Joe the one-armed pirate” and “that guy who tells all the jokes.”   I presently live in a "Dollar house" which I got from the city to fix up. See Drexel Bogg dragonfire "WELCOME BACK Kane" 215 SECTION. 10th edition 2005.   I am writing my first book, a joke book. Hobbies include: getting destroyed in billiards, suffering greatly at tennis, and getting either wet/hit in the head/or sea sick sailing. I do stand-up comedy at the Laugh House open mic nights and tell lies about what it is like living in Gray’s Ferry. Got to duck ... someone is shooting outside....   STAN KRAJEWSKI’S BRIEF BIO:   Born in New York, I quickly had passion that came alive in all that I do, singing in chorus all through grade school, as well as art classes, plays, and photography. It was at twelve years old that I discovered what was to become my rite of passage into the world of creative paths that have opened up in my life. Going up into the attic one day, I found my mother’s high school year book. Upon opening the pages, I stopped at “Aspirations.”  “Singer and Actress” was my mom’s passion, and although it was not lived in the sense in which we have always followed, it was transformed in such a way that delivered her spirit to the world. With 6 children to raise, Margaret Keddy Woll would belt out a tune that engulfed the entire world. It was years later that what I had found was that rite of passage for my own life. What was not used was passed on, and with that, I gratefully share this with the world with honor and passion. May you find all what I do, all that I write, and all that I bring forward live with that seed that was passed on so long ago.   Stan Krajewski’s a photographer as well as poet. You can view his photography at: www.stankrajewskigallery.com 2006 National Art Show Part 2-Abstract in submission "Dancing Trees" "Untitled" voting from June 1 thru June 30 at www.guestsgallery.com     ANDREW MILLER’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO:   In an attempt to create structure around the abstract, Andrew Miller voices his work in both visual and literary eloquence. This Seattle artist has generated astonishing style and imagery within the past five years, forming a stranglehold on the art of hand painted photography. His work in this field has spawned numerous venues for creative outlet, including that of sculpture, sketch and collage art, collaborative film and creative writing. You may visit his website at http://www.mantisart.com for a more in depth look at some of his work.     BRIAN QUASS’ BRIEF BIO:   Usually, when I write my autobiographies (for my various Web sites, including NorthAmericanOwls.com and Quass.com), I use the third-person in order to give myself permission to boast while simultaneously tricking some of my more gullible readers into thinking that I actually have a staff working for me. But since this ruse would be unlikely to work here (and perhaps even conflict with the expectations of the editor to whom this introduction is addressed) I'll just say that I'm a Northern Virginia webmaster who writes, principally, about owls—although to be fair, the owls themselves have been doing much of the work lately, as my daytime closed-captioning job continues to demand the lion's share of my editorial attention. (Obviously, I still have to proof what the birds come up with, though, since it's a well-known fact that owls aren't the smartest raptor in the aviary!)   (HUMDINGER EDITOR, LITERARY FICTION) LORENA SMITH'S BRIEF BIO: LORENA HAS HER OWN PAGE! CLICK HERE!     (HUMDINGER EDITOR, POETRY) ROCHELLE SMITH’S BRIEF BIO:   It says Rochelle, but I only answer to Shelly. Born in the east, townhouses stacked like dominoes on a tree lined street where I would catch a firefly and watch its light extinguish over the course of an evening while Grandpa lectured me on what was right, and why people drove too fast. Lived in the middle; gray skies and cold slushy streets, rust and iron and structures that serve no purpose, other than irony. Workers unite and the mob beats them down and now we name streets and highways after them. The ghetto is not slovenly but depressing, and I miss it and the revolution that was constantly simmering just below the crust. I now am slowly reducing my consciousness in the southwest where there is only beautiful weather and consumerism stretching across the desert to the final drips of the Colorado River. I've studied the English language and of course English literature. I've studied with the best, I've worked with the worst and I am somewhere in between a good deed and punishment.   I believe that the written word is the strongest and most visceral communication possible on our tiny little planet.    If you looked at my collection of books and music, you might think I was schizophrenic and I've discussed it with my doctor and he doesn't agree. Eclectic implies choice of matter and art is not a choice but a scream of indignation and corrosion -acid etching on the contempt of a linear culture and almost predisposed digression that denies all and celebrates insanity.   “The most original authors are not so because they advance what is new, but because they put what they have to say as if it had never been said before.”—Goethe   SCOTT SPARLING’S BRIEF BIO:   Scott Sparling is a published writer with four plays, one short story, and many poems in publication. He is a full time balloon entertainer who does magic, paints, and writes for anyone who will pay him. Scott is a part-time ninja master, so his ninja powers only work part of the time.   GiggleWorks is an entertainment company owned and operated by Scott and his wife Chrissie (also in this month’s Humdinger!). Under GiggleWorks, they perform magic shows, balloon animals, face painting, comedy, tarot readings, palm readings and more. The web address is www.giggleworks.net    SOPHYA VIDAL’S BRIEF BIO:   Hey there! My name is Sophya and I am just beginning to try to publish my work. I love music, art, and theatre. Lived in New York, now reside in Portland OR. Born on an Army base in Panama. I have a Pug. His name is Willie. Yup. That's about it. Later.   AMBERINE WILSON’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO:   About nine months before I was born, my parents stayed at a little bed and breakfast called The Amber Inn. In a haze of inspiration, they named me Amberine. I am thankful everyday that I was not conceived at The Ramada. Raised by a bunch of bearded, long haired, hippy musicians who smoked “special cigarettes,” I developed a passion for music at a very young age. By six, I could tell you the title of every Beatles’ Album. Needless to say, the arts were big in my happy household; story telling and comedy were a must around this crew. With my creativity nicely cultivated, I soon began telling my own stories and playing music. At 28, I have a Bachelor’s degree in English Literature and a well-paying job as a cocktail waitress. The bittersweet pill of Graduate School is sitting on my nightstand and as I fill out applications and take GREs, I find myself finally willing to share my stories with the public.

 

 

MAY EDITION OF HUMDINGER LITERARY E-ZINE, 2006

JON BERAHYA’S BRIEF BIO: Jon Berahya is a comedian/writer/artist living in Lexington, Kentucky, with bipolar disorder and his parents, who feed him well.  He would like to thank Dr. Shelton for all the medication samples and to the 2003 British Airways flight crews for providing him with safe passage to foreign lands and drinks that he is no longer allowed to partake of.    Note: Jon Berahya’s poem “Venezia” represented Humdinger Literary E-zine at http://www.litmocracy.com. He is currently being published in many publications.   BEN BOSTICK’S BRIEF BIO: Ben Bostick is a strange and terrible new American talent. He never stays in one place long enough for the post office to catch up to him and he disdains the thought of settling down. He makes money, he says, by being a pro.   Although very little is known about this frightening character, he is one of the most intriguing figures in modern literature. He has a unique, flamboyant style, and is sometimes cited as being a “genius,” though more often as a “hack.” He can be reached at his only permanent address: bdbostick@gmail.com   ANNE CAHALAN’S BRIEF BIO: Anne Cahalan's father once told her that she could take mind altering hallucinogenic drugs and no one would notice. She was eight at the time. She does not have an MFA in anything, owns no pets, and does not know what Brando would do.   CARMEN DIODE’S BRIEF AND BIZARRE BIO:  Carmen Diode is a complex personality and his essence can not be adequately conveyed in a cheesy biographical sketch.   In other times Carmen Diode would be characterized as a “renaissance man;”  he does many things, but none particularly well (more fun to do many things in a half-assed way than to do one thing really well).   Penthouse Letters drew Carmen to literature and later inspired him to write, himself.  Carmen has distinguished himself by writing in a charming and entertaining style about the things for which he has great passion: food, golf, politics, small engine repair and thong underwear.   Recently Carmen has become a champion and advocate for the “free-range” style of writing.  In “free-range writing,” the focus is on entertainment value. Carmen believes that too much emphasis has been placed, historically, on things like grammar, spelling, punctuation, originality and factual accuracy.  This results in work that is boring to read and it has the added tendency to turn away people who want to write but don’t have the time or interest to adhere to constraints that have long outlived their usefulness. The “free-range writer” writes for fun and to entertain and without regard to whether the work is plagiarized from someone else.   On a visit to Taos, Mexico in the summer of 2005, Carmen had a spiritual revelation and is sometimes channeled by Chief Joseph—the famous Indian warrior and leader of the Nez Perce nation.   LLOYD H. FRYE’S BRIEF BIO: Born in California in 1947, another surprise to a returning soldier, he grew up in Kansas City, yes, where the slaughterhouses are, and drifted through colleges during the Viet Nam War on a II-S deferment. Worked odd jobs and finally joined electronics manufacturing industry in 1978. NAFTAed in the back in 2003, and unemployed ever since. Bitterness and boredom were the engines of his writing beginning early last year.   Published: Is There Anything Wrong Officer?    Humdingerzine.com   Political Fiction (April, 2006) Is There Anything Wrong Officer?    Dyingwriters.com  No More Drugs                                     Dyingwriters.com                                                                                                                                                 Contests: PROMS                                              Finalist in Space Exploration Writing Contest              Humdingerzine.com (April, 2006)        RICKY GINSBURG’S BRIEF BIO:   Ricky Ginsburg 11161 Sandyshell Way Boca Raton, Florida  33498 561-488-4815 Fawnridge@bellsouth.net www.fawnridge.com/ricky   Ricky Ginsburg escaped from New Jersey in 1998 on the eve of his 45th birthday to the wilds of Southeastern Florida just at the edge of the everglades. He works only when necessary, preferring a day at the beach or the company of scantily clad college girls at Florida Atlantic University.   As a writer he is only minimally published, having restarted his writing career in 2004 with a nine-part tale of competition barbecue in The National Barbecue News. The photo above is from an article in Zone 10 Gardening Magazine (now defunct) that Ricky wrote about solving the mistakes most Northerners make when they try to garden in South Florida.   Ricky has had more than his fair share of fame having exceeded Warhol’s predictions with almost eleven years at WFMU radio (not defunct) and two and half years at WBCN–-Boston (should be defunct.) His radio show at WFMU–-Synthetic Pleasure–-had, for a long while, almost a half million listeners and is most famous for his discovery of Yanni. During that phase of his fame, he wrote and published a magazine also cleverly called Synthetic Pleasure that had over 1000 subscribers at its apogee.   Currently his writings are slanted towards the genre of Magical Realism and can be found on both his website and http://www.zoetrope.com.      CHRIS GOEBEL’S BRIEF BIO: At the age of four, I learned that invisibility doesn’t exist when our German Shepherd tried to hide under the sofa—leaving her rear end exposed. Nope, she wasn’t invisible. That didn’t keep me from trying to hide under blankets, in corners, cabinets, in creepy places, searching for invisibility. One day I thought I found it while camping. No one could find me. Then I tripped and rolled down a steep hill and, Indiana Jones style, raised my head to face a snake that definitely saw me. Humans can reverse at high speeds, on occasion. This was one of those.   Besides wishing to be invisible, I’ve wanted to fly. This may be genetic and I won’t mention names, but I had a family member try to fly and if they hadn’t leaped off the roof first and learned their mortality (and the softness of human bones), surely I would’ve learned the same lesson. A landspeeder would be nice, but I really want to body glide over the air. I’ve pondered the practicality of flying cars and determined we’re currently too stupid to have them. Why? Just where are those cars going to wreck? Murphy’s Law says over Your House.   So, remaining flightless and visible, I must create worlds where this is a possibility. I write all kinds of things (and am a true multi-genre reader and writer) and guess what I’d say to the new writer is to keep writing all the time. If someone doesn’t like something you write, make sure you’ve written enough material to not give a damn. This cool attitude isn’t heartless: it allows us to fashion great things out of the empty spaces in our minds and deliver them up to a world that would collapse without the strength of artists’ imaginations (be you painter, writer, actor, whathaveyou, you paint the mindscape for others to follow!). Click any of the following blue links to get to know me better :) Read my Blog. Read my page for writers. Be way cool and sign up for my monthly newsletter for writers.      F.I. GOLDHABER’S BRIEF BIO: http://www.goldhaber.net   F.I. Goldhaber grew up in the United States of America. She has lived in sixteen cities (if you only count the ones she stayed in for longer than six months) in ten states (and visited all fifty). She started telling stories the moment she could speak and writing them down as soon as she learned how to form letters. In more than a quarter century as a professional writer, she has produced news stories, feature articles, editorial columns, reviews, public relations and marketing materials, advertising copy, novels, short stories, novelettes, and poems. She has had a novelette, short stories, and poems published in magazines, anthologies, and e-zines.      HEATHER COOK  LINDSAY’S BRIEF BIO: Heather Cook Lindsay is a 34 year old resident of Bangor, ME. She is also probably too late with this biography.   In fact, she is habitually late. With what? You name it--taxes, the water bill, the cats' shots. Heather grew up in an oxygen tent (yes, for real) and mistakenly assumed that her world would always exist in a quiet, well-oxygenated bubble of safety and that she would be forever flanked by nothing else but books, transparent walls and glasses of ginger ale, with ice. Oh, how wrong she was. Life has been precarious and nerve-wracking ever since. However, were she to have stayed in the bubble, perhaps she would nothing else to say but "The condensation is oppressive in here!"    Thanks for reading.      J.B. PRAVDA’S BRIEF BIO: Website: www.angrysponge.com A Brief History of (MY) Time: Born Brooklyn, NY on virtually the same day, if not hour as one Stevey Speilberg (he knows, it only counts if he reciprocates in his bio), began a career in law and politics as a Washington, D.C. ‘kid’ lawyer with the Federal Government during Watergate, where he immediately ‘Felt’ something was amiss (why do we sometimes capitalize those two words … must be that Orwell was right), then as a lobbyist, then social entrepreneur (while this is indeed a paradoxical combo, one must follow the other as a matter of conscience or, simply cleaning up one's own mess...) and private businessman. He has been a prolific writer in all genres, with an emphasis on short works, including microfiction/flash fiction as well as short One Act Plays; most recently his work has been featured at the innovative Warholesque gallery in NYC, Unpublished Underground www.unpublishedunderground.com, where, as a featured founding member/ writer his latest collection, “An Attention-Deficit Anthology or Short Walks Through a Long Now” is featured.   During a lengthy bout with prostate cancer (now, fully recovered and very active), he began a life-long deferred goal: creative writing; since then, he has been fortunate enough in less